Here’s a quickie for ya! No, not that kinda quickie. A 25-minuter, no more/no less. Zach insists on it, and he’ll do everything in his power to keep his promise. Is that why he and Ethan spend the first five minutes talking about longies, undies coming offies, ovaries in a bowl, a miniature clone version of Ethan, Jupiter Ascending, and Zombie Jesus Christ? No, it’s just that their topic tonight is kind of a downer: Death!
To Zach, death is just a concept. So is time, for that matter. And memory…And matter! Plus, we have the entire animal kingdom to turn to for inspiration! But to Ethan, death is the loss of sensation and memory…And matter! He’s a bit troubled by it. He carries a tadpole’s worth of concern, if you will. (I won’t!)
Zach’s just a material girl, living in a material world. And he thinks that nobody’s born and nobody dies. Ethan, on the other hand, believes that we’re all just a bunch of eternal forces that inhabit a body. But when you die, you become one with everything, and lose the essence of what makes you different.
Ethan and Zach discuss their respective graduation days. Zach didn’t go, because he had to go to summer school. But Ethan remembers it just like it was yesterday. Only, it wasn’t. These days, it’s just a bunch of neurons firing. Or is it a picture of a bunch of neurons firing?
“What about the will to live?” Ethan asks. “You mean the sex drive?” Zach responds.
Ethan maintains that you cannot divorce pleasure and pain from life and death, respectively. But Zach says that the ego is the only barrier to a natural, everyday occurrence that should cause no one any fear. He would know…seeing how he experienced an ego death of his own! (The White Light!-Ha-cha-cha-cha-cha!)
“Death may not be all that bad,” Ethan allows, “but there’s still reason to avoid it. There’s a lot to like about being alive, and time, and all that other nifty stuff.”
“What are you really afraid of?” asks Zach. “It’s all just a practical matter. Decide what to do with your land and your money and your body after you die. Don’t let some petty fear get in the way of your duties.”
When you die, you can finally let go of all the secrets you held while you were alive. Not to mention, the loneliness! Ethan believes that loneliness only exists when you’re alive. Like a warm gun…Or was that happiness? Zach took Lady Loneliness out on a date one time. He let her pay for the cab. But it came out of his bank account. Weird…
Ethan tries to end the episode. But Zach insists on stretching it out like an old pair of undies-offies. He’ll finally get the chance to state his points at The Death Cafe (www.deathcafe.com). Like his point about The Youth in Asia. Or his point about Sue. A side. Pick a side, Sue! Stop dilly-dallying!